Truth in Fiction
by Tomlinson's Thrusts
Summary: Lavi can't stand the way Lenalee flirts with Allen. Each occurrence drives him closer to the brink of no longer being able to handle his emotions. What will happen when it pushes him too far?
1. Chapter 1

**-I don't own D Gray Man, just this story -**

**First fanfiction, please be gentle. D:**

**1.**

There it was again- that incessant giggle that drove me mad in all the wrong ways. It carried so effortlessly across the chilled air of the backwoods, and straight to my ears. I turned the other way, refusing to grace her pathetic attempt at flirting with Allen even a glance. Though, the worst part about the entire scenario was that it was actually working. The voice was hushed, but I could hear him flirt back with the dark haired exorcist. Every now and then, they would both erupt with a fit of estranged laughter and I would be forced to succumb to covering my ears with my hands out of frustration. Their voices didn't even match, they sparred whenever spoken in unison.

I'm not sure how much time had passed with me holding my head in my hands, trying to retrain my anger from bubbling over but I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Allen. I could tell that he was more refined than earlier, once I'd lifted my head up, blinking my one eye lazily. He smiled down at me, and offered a hand.

"Do you have a headache Lavi?" He asked, concern dipping in to his voice.

"Not much, just glad that it's quieted down a bit."

His cheeks coloured a bit at my statement, and I couldn't help but feel satisfied.

"I'm sorry if we were too loud, you could have-"

I stopped him by holding up my hand and he starred silently, with unblinking eyes.

"Allen, don't worry. It was fine, I don't mind if you…have a thing for Lenalee."

I averted my gaze once my small speech was finished and my feet insisted on speeding up, carrying my farther than I would have cared to go from our small campfire. Allen followed behind with little trouble, before falling in to step with me once again.

"I don't have a thing for her! She's just a good friend." He smiled at this, and I couldn't help but stick out my tongue before me and farce a gag.

Allen laughed, and shoved my shoulder softly. I responded by knocking my side in to his, smirking at our height difference. He knew what I thought was so funny, so he nudged me with his shoulder, and I stumbled sideways.

"You know, for a –" "Don't even say it Lavi."

He had an evil glint in his eyes that somehow, I knew wasn't play. I held my hands up in front of me, shrugging my shoulders up in defeat.

"Alright, Alright, don't get all 'angry Allen' on me now."

His shoulders released their tension, and continued to walk once more. It was my turn to follow behind now.

"Uh, hey Allen, where are we going?"

It wasn't exactly warm out, and I'd left my coat back at the campsite. He turned back to face me, but still kept his pace.

"It's a surprise. Lenalee and I found it earlier when we were looking for wood to start the fire."

Allen seemed pretty excited about this place, or thing…whatever it was. I wasn't one to object spending time with him when given the chance, especially alone. I smiled at the back of his head, the wind made his hair sway in a perfect motion that could set a child to sleep. I swore I could hear his voice calling my name sometimes, and it was always able to ignite a flame inside my chest that blemished to my entire body, making me feel warm.

"Lavi, Lavi stop!"

I chuckled at the Allen in my head, wishing that I could spend more time with the real one. My train of thought stopped, as I realized that I did have the real Allen to myself, and I was far too busy interacting with his voice in my head to be with him.

"Lavi, I think you should stop before I-aah!"

I blinked, and was suddenly thrust back in to reality. The real Allen sat in a shallow pond, glaring up at me. I bit my lip, trying to stuff down the laughter that threatened to pour out my lips. I clamped my hand on to my mouth, as it spewed out, loudly too.

"You arse, Lavi help me out of this stupid pond!"

I couldn't stop the laughter, but I was able to pull him out, soaked clothes and all. Allen sat himself against the thick trunk of a tree, and refused to talk to me. For a while we just sat in silence, but I couldn't get his pouting face out of my head, he clearly didn't see the humor in it.

"You should have stopped when I told you to." He mumbled, with his arms crossed on his chest.

I scratched the back of my head awkwardly, laughing nervously at the angered boy in front of me.

"Look Allen, I'm really sorry about that. I was a bit lost in thought that's all."

He sighed finally, and offered the spot beside him on the trunk. I hopped up, and plopped back down beside him. A sideways glance was sent my way, before a sly smile appeared on his flawless lips. He turned to face straight ahead before I could pull a face. Instead, I was content with just staring.

Small droplets of the pond water dribbled down his damp locks, before parting and flying down, only to crash to the dirt. His cheeks were pink from the cold, and every few seconds his lips would part to reveal chattering teeth. I had to dig my nails deep in to the skin of my palm to restrain myself.

His head tilted to the side, until it rested on my shoulder, dampening my shirt immediately upon contact. My arm was moving on its own, until it was nearly wrapped around the boys' smaller form. I quickly diverted it into a shake. Allen's head shot up, and he looked around, curiously on guard.

"Um, I think we should head back. The fire would help with warming you up."

He stood, and stretched out his body, leaning slightly side to side, before starting to lead the way back to the camp. That small sliver of cream flesh which was barred by the lifting of his shirt during his stretch would stay with me that entire night.

**Please review c:**

**It gives me motivation .**


	2. Chapter 2

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**So glad to hear that you're all enjoying my story3 **

**2.**

Allen's sick. Not as though that had come as a surprise to me, figuring that I had knocked him in to the water the previous night. Though, having Lenalee wake me up the way she did – it set my morning off to a wretched start. I was beginning to believe that she would forever be on my bad side; I never really did fancy her from the beginning.

Anyways, she'd persistently shake my shoulder until I finally sat up, stretching and yawning leisurely. She huffed in annoyance, which is what I really should have been doing as oppose to her. Finally I realized that there must have been more to waking me up than just it being time to get a move on.

"Uh, Lenalee, is something the matter?"

She crossed her arms at my question, and tapped her heel in anticipation.

"What do you think Lavi? Just look at the state of poor Allen! There's no way we can go on with our mission."

I let my eyes skim along the dirt floor, until it met Allen's shuddering form under a few blankets – he was already looking at me. I couldn't help but slump in to a degrading posture. I felt like shit for what I'd done to him last night, and I couldn't tell if he was still upset over the whole ordeal.

"Well we can't stay here. We'll have to find a town." I announced, standing up, preparing to set out.

Lenalee rushed up, gripping my coat sleeve before I could completely put it on. I sighed softly, regaining my composure, before turning and asking her what was wrong…_this time._

"Allen can't walk in this state! That'd be just like torture for him."

I clenched my fists at my thighs, trying to stay calm. She was really getting to me today, perhaps I just lacked compassion for her stupidity this particular day.

"Well then Lenalee, what do you propose we do?"

She stepped back a bit, posting her hands on her hips firmly, giving me a stern look for my obvious sarcastic tone.

"I don't think your attitude is helping Allen, but you wouldn't care would you? All you need to worry about is yourself."

She turned sharply on her heels, approaching Allen, who was struggling to stand.

"I..I think I can –" He had started to say something, but at this point, my anger had boiled over.

"If you love him so much, why don't you solve the problem for yourselves?"

They stood silently looking at me for a moment, and it was the epitome of awkward situations.

"I can't _stand _how loved up you two are! It's sick!"

A harsh sound echoed throughout the trees, and it took me a moment to realize that I had been smacked. My trembling hand reached for my reddening cheek, and then looked from Lenalee, to Allen, who refused to meet my gaze.

I dropped my hand, and quietly mumbled more to myself than them.

"Forget it, I'll find a village."

I finished tugging on my coat, before gathering everyone's belongings and taking it upon myself to carry them. I silently cursed myself for caring so much about them. Bookman always lectured me about not having friends, or getting close to anyone. Obviously I'd neglected the advice, and grown far too close to one person in particular. He wasn't very pleased with me at the moment, and I knew carrying his things wouldn't make up for it.

It was twilight by the time we'd reached the outskirts of a small town which was comprised by fifteen homes, three shops, and an inn. I should have been sighing in relief, though the tension between the three of us hadn't eased up at all. I could hear Allen's chattering teeth, and dull slides of weak feet behind me which ushered me to quickly hold open the door for the two. Lenalee refused to give me any notice, and kept her face straight ahead and Allen weakly gave me a smile.

Dinging the bell for the third time really irked me. This damn innkeeper had a duty to fulfill, customers needing a room. Where the hell was this person? I'd only just slammed my hand down angrily on the counter when a tall man appeared from behind a curtain. His muscles weren't the only thing that intimidated me; the gaze he gave me almost seemed to feed off of fear.

"Hello um." I searched for a name tag of sorts, but there was none. "Good sir. I'd like to request three rooms please."

His eyes dulled, as they raked over the three of us as a whole, before dropping down two keys on the wood.

"Two rooms."

I wasn't about to put up an argument against this man, I was too tired. Well, that's what I told myself, though I couldn't help but think that it was something about his appearance that terrified me. I snatched up the two keys, and bounded up the staircase quickly heading the other direction of that brute. I could hear Lenalee argue with Allen about himself wanting to walk up the stairs. I knew she'd give in, and let him do as he pleased eventually. The rooms he'd given us were on the fourth floor, the highest of course – bastard. At the end of the hall were two rooms side by side, the one closest to the window at the end looking a bit bigger. I tossed the other key in Lenalee's direction, and heaved open the larger door. Two beds sat across from each other in the dark room. Thank god for the heating though, that was what mattered the most. Allen's condition wouldn't be improving without the help of some warm air.

After sending Allen off to a warm bath, Lenalee and I headed downstairs together – in silence- for a meal. It baffled me that the man had offered dinner to us, it was totally out of the character I'd come up with for him. Though then again, that is what I got for making judgment based purely on one meeting and appearance.

The meal consisted of loaves of bread, and a warm soup. It was perfect for Allen, so I'd saved my share of soup, and stuffed more than four rolls in to my coat before heading back up in to the room. I'd thought about knocking, though shrugged it aside in case of waking him from a much needed sleep. I balanced the soup in one hand, and kicked the door open, with a smile, trying to pose just in case he was awake. A laugh could always cheer someone up; thought shock was what I got.

Allen stood at his bed side with a very minimalistic towel slung around his tiny waist, water dripping from the tips of his head, and sliding down his chest and back. I gulped loudly, trying to shift my gaze, but my eyes refused to avert themselves. Steam rolled off his entire body, and I unconsciously took a few steps forward until I could feel the heat radiating off his damp body.

"Lavi, you're doing it again."

I blinked, almost dropping the soup, but Allen managed to take it from my hands.

"Doing what?" I asked, backtracking until I collapsed on the weak bed that protested with a moan under my weight.

I decided that the ceiling was much safer than anywhere on Allen's body. Though every time I shut my eyes, I'd have images thrust before them that I really should have been suppressing at the moment. I felt a slight tinge in my lower stomach, and heat blemished from there on. I knew this wasn't good – not good at all.

"Nothing really, but it was a lot like what happened last night."

Ah, Allen's words were always riddled with damn unintentional innuendos. It took me a moment to recall last night. The water, him falling in - that was what he was talking about.

I sat up at my realization, only to be face to face with pants less Allen Walker. His cheeks reddened slightly, as he tried to pull down his shirt. It worked, sadly. Though, that image was burned in to my retina now, so there was a plus side. If I had doubted the hardness in my pants before, there was no doubting it now. I was completely stiff, and afraid he could tell.

Allen being clueless like always neglected my hardened member, and tenting pants. He returned to dressing, before tending to empting the bowl of soup. He didn't use a spoon, but rather drank from the bowl. I watched as his throat grew and fell with every swallow, telling myself that the pattern would help with ridding me of my problem, but I knew that it would only worsen the situation.

I pressed my palms in to the mattress, taking slow, steady breaths. I felt as though I'd been starring Allen down like prey. I quickly remembered the rolls in my coat, and reached to take a few out. Allen was before me in a matter of seconds, begging like a starved animal. I knew it wasn't kind, but I couldn't resist the temptation of teasing him.

I pulled back with the roll in my hand, leaning back so that he couldn't reach it. He leaned forward in turn, stretching for it. I swore that boy was a bottomless pit. He protested my teasing by saying he was starved, and sick. Which, I knew the second part was true, but his deprived face was priceless. I leaned back even further until I was flat on my back. Allen leapt at the chance, and lost his footing. He collided face first in to my chest. I knew that his nose would be feeling that tomorrow, or perhaps immediately.

Though, there was something more pressing that he was feeling immediately. I blinked in horror, to see him sitting completely on my groin. He seemed clueless at first, though eventually his eyes widened in shock. Cloudy eyes fell down, to my abdomen. I scratched my head awkwardly with the hand that wasn't holding the roll.

"Shit Allen, I'm sorry."

He was silent for a moment, before a loud cackle left his lips. I was shocked to say the least, and quickly pushed him off me, and got to my knees glaring down at the laughing boy on my floppy bed.

"What's so funny?"

I cried, shoving the roll in to his gaping mouth, to stop the persistently mocking laughter.

I knew I wouldn't live this down for a while, but damn did it feel good to have him on top of me. It would have been even more amazing if he had wiggled his hips a bit more, perhaps rocked himself back and forth, but I knew I'd have to keep these fantasies to myself after what had happened tonight.

**Sooo that's two ;)**

**I hope you liked it just as much as one. **

**; u ;**

**review's would be loved ~**


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

Allen's head's huge, well bigger than it normally was. I'd be willing to say at least ten times larger, because it towered over my body- almost like an Akuma ready to blow out of its human skin. That was a stupid comparison, I knew Allen wasn't an Akuma, but still that was what memory it had happened to resurface. Glumly, I gazed up and his smirk stretched across his cheeks to reveal gleaming jaws, chattering with dark laughter. It was the menacing sort, but I didn't find the humor that he did. I took a step back and glared at the big headed Allen. Finally he spoke, and his voice seemed to echo everywhere, much louder than I would have liked.

_"You're hard!"_

My nails dug in to the sheet, piercing the mattress as I awoke with fear on mind. I knew I'd shouted, because I had a very drowsy looking Allen staring from across the room. He rubbed at his eye, sitting up to get a better look at me.

"Lavi, what's up? Are you okay?"

I tried to calm my pounding heart, and erratic rise of my chest. A small bead of sweat trickled down the left side of my cheek, and I swore I could almost curse the concerned white haired exorcist in the bed next to me. Concern didn't cover up the fact that his mockery haunted me well in to my dreams.

"I'm fine. Shower time."

I hopped up off the bed, my pants hanging low on my hips. Allen's eyes trailed over to me, and I quickly tugged them up, hoping to give him no chance of remembering last night's accident. I heard him sigh with trouble on the end of his breath before I left the room.

The shower left much to be desired at this inn. It was a _very _small room about the size of a pantry. A hose of sorts branched out of the wall, and had warm water spewing from its spout. That was all I needed though, I hopped in as fast as I could possibly muster because the entire walk here was mostly comprised of bare feet and ice cold wood floor.

I stayed in until I felt raw from the scalding hot water. I had planned to dress in the shower, but the space was far too confining for that. I was left hobbling back to the room in nothing but a towel, dripping water everywhere from my soaked locks of hair that looked a lot like a dying fire. I found Allen gobbling down the remaining rolls from last night that he had snooped out of my coat no doubt.

I smiled at him, and got to work trying to figure out a way to dress without barring all to the innocent boy beside me. Allen took a break from stuffing his face to stand up and speak.

"If you need me to leave-"

I shook my head until water splashed his cheeks. He feigned a pout, and wiped at his cheek with his free hand that wasn't holding three dinner rolls.

"No, I've got this."

I was always up for a challenge, and this definitely was one. I reached for my pants and trousers first, and managed to pull them up with little trouble. The white fabric clung to my small legs- but they were toned! I'm not calling myself fragile, let's leave that for women- like Lenalee. My bottom half was the only thing that I had been really troubled about, so now I was in free reign.

I quickly tugged the black material on, and my head popped out to reveal a captivated Allen. His mouth still moved slowly, chewing the remnants of the bread. I knew I was blushing- my cheeks felt like they were on fire, well scratch that. Rather my entire body was alight whenever Allen stared so captivated. I scratched the back of my head nervously, before adorning my bandanna. I blinked, only to find him still caught on me.

"What is it _now_ Allen?"

I whined, falling back on to my bed, without putting on my coat. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and plopped down beside me. The bed gave a moan with the added weight of another. I felt like I was always on constant watch, like a celebrity or something when it came to his scrutiny.

"Nothing!" he chuckled, leaning back slightly. "I've just never seen someone put such effort in to getting dressed."

I pressed my hand to his face, until he was face down on the mattress, and then assumed my duty to mess his hair. He protested, but I had an evil streak, and refused to put an end to it until he caught my hand. I had to yelp in protest, though he already had it twisted behind my back. Allen sat back up, and I could feel his smirk, rather than see it. It was a triumphant one.

"Oh shut up Allen, I wasn't here to put on a show for you anyways."

I could say that it was my imagination, but no, no it wasn't at all. His hot breath ghosted across the nap of my neck as he let out a soft chuckle. I couldn't suppress the shiver that coursed through my body, leaving need in its wake.

"It sure seemed like you did last night, or did you forget?"

I didn't miss the playful malice attached to his words, nor did I neglect his pointer finger's nail tracing softly in to the skin of my wrist. There was no way Allen was doing this… it was too alluring, daring, everything I'd wanted. I tried to break his grip, and succeeded. I turned to face him, my cheeks still dusted with a blush that had sustained throughout this entire show he'd put on.

"Allen, please…forget about that. I didn't mean for it to happen."

His feet carried him from the bed to the door, where he waved his hand through the air lazily. I started to rise as well, but stopped once his words met my ear.

"Better hurry, if you miss breakfast it'll be _hard _to get another meal until nightfall."

**ahaha. and thus ensues the painful mocking of Lavi's 'accident' ;3**

**next chapter will most likely involve a time skip - just a fair warning. **

**not too big of one though. ^-^**

**review please c:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so SO much for all the reviews I've had thus far.**

**You guys realllly are amazing. & I promise you one of these days I'll give you a longer chapter :3**

**4.**

The writing blurred, and my eyesight seemed to morph in to the fur of a kitten. I couldn't see straight any longer. My chair skidded against the tile floor as I stood up and vigorously rubbed at my eyes. I felt satisfied and was about to get back to my book when I took note of a rather large mass of books stacked behind me with a small piece of paper. Orders from Bookman no doubt- to file and organize these on the shelves.

"Ahh man you've got to be kidding me! This will take forever!"

I didn't care to hide my distaste for the assignment, due to the lack of an audience. I gave the leg of the table a swift kick, which wasn't the best idea. The massive pile of books began to wobble ominously. My arms stuck out in front of me trying to comfort the temperamental volcano of books by bracing against the front. It seemed to work.

Giving up, I captured a few books from the top and headed off for the section they belonged in. The far right, five isles down – I swear that old man could be _so _lazy sometimes, and he calls ME useless. After shelving the books, I ventured back to the temple of books to take a few more but was stopped from doing so when I heard that soft, airy giggle float in to the room from the small crevice that was the crack in the door.

In an instant I'd leapt to the small crack between the door and the wall, and peeped through. I saw who I'd thought I had heard – Lenalee. She was leaning against a wall, looking dreamily in to Allen's eyes. I might have missed the joke but I really didn't see what was so hilarious. That girl honestly loved to make my blood boil; she meant to stop here no doubt. To torment me, but did she know? There wasn't any way she could have heard, no one else knew but me. As if I'd tell anyone about the sick fantasies I had of Allen Walker. It wasn't that I was particularly proud of them to begin with.

She leant forward a little, until her breasts we're pressed to his flat chest, and I swore that I could hear the breath escape him. I had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling at the two, it was like a cheesy scene from a romance novel, and I was the tormented one that was forever left with the unfulfilled crush.

My nails were dug in to the palm of my hand, and it wasn't a comfortable feeling. Nor was the tightening of my chest. I wasn't jealous, I just wasn't. That stupid bean sprout had my entire body revolting against me more than half the time, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

His lips were so perfectly parted, as he leaned in for the kiss. Allen was tender, and relishing the moment he was sharing with the dark haired beauty. I couldn't deny that he genuinely liked her, and that I genuinely liked _him._

I slammed the wooden door shut with the velocity of a high speed train. I'd had enough of their romance, and so had my heart. I bypassed the books, and headed straight for the couch. With my body slewed down on the only plush material in the library, I passed out.

For the second that day, I'd awaken with a sort of start. It was as if I was ready for a marathon, or if something detrimental was just about to occur and I had to prevent it. I was sat at the edge of the couch, gripping my flamed locks, and taking in deep gulps of air. I felt the sweat dribble down the sides of my face, and glide down my cheeks- but that wasn't the only thing I'd felt.

Damn Allen for always working his way in to my dreams, and leaving my restless in more ways than just one. I palmed my erection, and winced. It wasn't going to subside soon, and pressing down on the constricting fabric wasn't helping. I released my bandanna from my head, and discarded it on the floor as I moved in to one of the many isolated isles that this room had to offer.

I was alone as of now, and I didn't see why I shouldn't take care of myself. I gripped the bookcase in front of me, and softly pressed my lower half against the edge. It sent chills up my arms, and shot blood straight to my aching member that was still confined in my pants. I gritted my teeth, and bucked against the wood harder, letting a strangled sigh leave my lips as they had finally parted despite my protest.

I turned to face the other shelf, and pressed my thumb to the button at the top of my pants. My eyes darted to the right, then to the left inspecting the surrounding areas before releasing the button. Admits the silent books, it made a audible pop, and then the small 'shhh' of the zipper sliding down was almost enough to frighten away my courage and scare me out of this endeavor.

_Almost._

The feeling of the heated flesh in my palm made me fist it with more vigor than I'd had done anything with all day. I wound my fingers around the throbbing heat, and pumped – _once, twice, three times. _My head tilted back to rest on a higher shelf, and a breathy moan left my lips. Enamored with the euphoric feeling that I was currently relishing in, my fingers too initiative themselves and moved upwards to trace the engrossed tip. My hips jolted forward, and the pounding in my chest only got worse. I say worse, but the feeling was too great to even consider existing in the negative realm.

My strokes were in time with the thrusts of my hips, and I wasn't sure I could stop even if I had wanted too. I was far too close to the edge, and most of my body was moving on its own. It was almost like an instrument, the way my fingers moved so skillfully across the swollen flesh, and the pleasure was incomparable to anything up to this point.

I'd come. Hot liquid splattered itself over my entire hand, dribbled down to the floor as well. It was a damn mess, and I didn't care to clean it. I braced myself against the shelf, still attempting to regain my composure after I'd been thrown over the edge so suddenly.

I knew that if I wiped the mess on to my pants I'd regret it later, so I headed to my 'designated' desk where I plucked from the drawer a handful of tissues. I didn't necessarily fancy being filthy, it just happened often. And by often, I mean more often – since my accident with Allen on our last mission. He still refused to let me live it down, and I wasn't sure if he ever would.

It was all just a disaster, my work was erratic and out of place much like my mind. My relationship with Allen had slightly faltered, and resulted in seeing him less often, due to my embarrassment. It was always fun to prank others, but for once having the prank pulled on me didn't feel very good, in fact I detested it. After seeing what I'd seen today, I wasn't sure if I had the willpower to continue my obsession with Allen. He obviously had taken a liking to Lenalee. Not that it wasn't bound to happen; she was the only mildly attractive female at the order.

Everyone who was normal fancied her, well… everyone except me. I was stuck with the weird 'thing' that I have for Allen. I think it was his hair that first caught my eye, it was so pure looking. His clouded eyes always set my heart in to a race when they locked with mine, and there wasn't a way I could prevent that from happening. Everything about Allen was physically pleasing – yes even his scar. Just thinking about it made my mind wander to certain ideas that shouldn't be vacating my innermost thoughts.

Him and his damn white hair always lead to distractions, and distractions led to accidents. The memory of knocking Allen in to that lake brought me out of my dazed state. I really had to refrain from going in to that dangerous mode. I failed to notice things that were happening around me…important things. Speaking of which – when had Allen got in here?

He stood with his back pressed against the door, starring at the floor – obviously a while. I returned from behind the book shelves and pressed my back in to the stone wall beside the door, and gave him a sideways glance.

"Allen?"

His head shot up, and nervously smiled at me. He'd been dazed as well, or so it had seemed.

"Hey Lavi, what'cha up to?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, before glaring over to the massive mountain of books that I still had to organize.

"Shelving books trust me Allen, its hell."

I earned a laugh from him, and it made my knees weak.

"Can I help?"

I perked up at this, and gripped his hands eagerly.

"REALLY? You'll really help me?"

Allen was shocked by my enthusiasm, but nonetheless agreed and followed me to the books. He took three, and I took twelve, trying to show off of course. It wasn't the best idea. I was struggling, and he could tell – much to my embarrassment.

"Um, Lavi do you need some help with that?"

He used his free hand to point to the tower that was currently balancing on only one of my arms. I managed a cheeky smirk his way.

"I'm no weakling like you, I've got this~"

His face flushed as he quickly shelved his three books, and turned back round to spit out a witty comeback but was met with tumbling books. Instead of smashing in to his face I'd managed to part them out of his way, but it was me who took the fall.

"Lavi! You're heavier than you look."

Allen struggled below me, clawing at my back. I could feel his nails digging in to the flesh under my flimsy shirt, seeing his flushed face under me, and his gasps for air had too much of an innuendo attached to them for my liking. I had to push myself off of him quickly, or else I'd be in trouble.

I skillfully avoided another awkward confrontation about my uncontrollable lower half, and sat beside the now shocked Allen. The silence gave me time to actually think coherently, and it surfaced a question.

"Allen, what did you come here for?"

He gave his locks a shake before turning his attention back to me – the all too flustered red head. I was overcome with guilt for what I'd done only moments before he'd happened upon me, and it was all with the thoughts of him in mind too.

"I came to ask for advice actually."

A nervous laugh was followed by his words, and I knew that it couldn't be good.

**A longer chapter ~  
yay.  
well, it's not too long, but I'll get there.**

**What do you think Allen needs advice on, hmmm? C:  
review please **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again for the reviews c:  
I love them all 3  
**

**5.**

Advice, what could Allen possibly need advice on? Though, the more pressing issue was why would he be asking me for advice? Obviously he had to think that I'd be knowledgeable in whatever he needed help with, but this whole situation made my body a wreck with nerves.

"Sure ah," I stood up completely, stretching out my sore limbs, hoping it'd rid my body of stress. "What do you need help with?"

Allen appeared aloof, and shy suddenly. He brought his knees to his chest, and hid his face from sight, I _knew _this wasn't going to be good, but I was suddenly dying to know. I took his hands in mine, and forced himself to stand before me.

"I need help with…" He shifted his gaze from mine to my shirt, "Girls."

I felt almost defeated, as I slumped against the bookcase. I should have been true to my emotion, I should have told Allen how hurt I was, how I really felt, but I didn't. I placed a façade on, and offered up a smirk. It earned a fumbling response from Allen. He waved his hands in front of his pink face, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I mean, I just figured you could help me out since you're so good with them!"

"Ah?"

"NO! I mean, it seems like you've been with a lot a girls so…"

"Ah man, Allen, now you're calling me a whore?"

I asked, feigning disappointment, as I slung my arm around his shoulder, walking him out of the book shelves and to the couch.

"Lavi, my words aren't right. I just need help, please."

I bit my lip – hard – and turned away from him. His voice, the words he used, _especially _his expression got to me. It got to me in the bad way, I felt my body go hot once again, and I had to grind my teeth to keep from thinking _those_ thoughts.

"Alright, I'll help you Allen."

I heard him hop up enthusiastically from the couch, and clap his hand on to my shoulder.

"I'm so glad; I knew I could count on you Lavi."

I flushed slightly at his unintentional compliment, and shrugged my shoulders, dragging the chair from my desk over to sit in front of the couch. I plopped down, and waited for Allen to take one as well.

"Okay, what do you need?"

"Well, the thing is…" He looked at his hands nervously "Lenalee and I are…well, I don't know what we are."

I sighed; hopefully it wouldn't develop any further than whatever it was now.

"Well, what exactly happened?" I questioned, with false interest.

"We were talking, really hitting it off, and I just sort of kissed her."

He was playing with his hands, clear signs of nervousness.

"Allen, what happened after that? Did she lean in to the kiss? How did you kiss her?"

He held his hands up in defense, as if to say enough.

"Don't bombard me with questions! This is all new to me, and kind of awkward."

I huffed in annoyance, and starred the smaller boy down.

"What?"

"Well, are you going to show me?"

Allen blinked, and assumed the role of a deer in the headlights.

"Show you what?"

I leaned forward, until I could practically feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

"How you kissed her."

Allen tensed up, possibly from our closeness, but more likely from my words.

"Show you? How am I…?" he trailed off for a moment, before standing. "Alright, stand up."

I jerked my head back and up, to look at the flustered white haired boy.

"Why?"

"Just do it, alright?"

He seemed almost eager, so I stood looking down at him, curiously.

"Okay, I'm up – "

I swore I lost my words, as Allen backed me in to the wall, and pressed one of his hands on my hip. I felt my body jerk at his touch, but why wouldn't it? This was what I've always wanted, though; I would have possibly flipped the positions in my fantasies. The heat from earlier had returned, but this was ten times worse, as he lent in closer. Allen's fingertips ghosted along my jaw line, before settling just below my ear. I started to turn from him, but his fingers suddenly locked my head in to place, and I was met with a determined gaze.

"Allen, I get it, I get it."

His eyes softened, and he started to lean back, and I knew I missed my chance. He had been so close, and I was about to get part of what I'd been dreaming about, but didn't have the courage to let him go through with it.

"Alright, it seems like you know how to capture a moment, so to speak."

I averted my gaze as I spoke, slipping out of the rock & hard place I'd been put in to.

"But the more sexual things, yeah?"

Allen followed me back to the couch, and sat down, awkwardly.

"Well, I don't really know if I should…do that thing with her."

I couldn't help it, so I laughed. He was so innocent, it drove me insane. I was still hard from his attention to detail in our almost kiss, so I decided to take advantage of the situation.

"Allen, if you're a couple, you're going to want to do things with her. Here, let me show you."

I slipped on to the couch beside him, and took a deep breath with my eyes shut. I was going to seize the opportunity that I had presented to me.

"Wait, wait! Lavi, why don't you just… show me how to…I don't know. This is really nerve wrecking."

He was scaring away from his endeavor, and I knew my chance was getting further away from me as I continued to think. I pressed his shoulders down, until he laid flat on the couch, under me. I smirked down at him, and let my hands run down his entire body. Even through his clothes, I could feel much more of him than with his coat on.

"mmm, okay. You want to make sure to refrain from neglecting any part of their bodies. Their neck –"

I traced small circles around his neck, and leaned down to let out a puff of hot air on his heated skin. I felt his body tense up, and if that weren't enough evidence, the gasp was. I left his skin with a quirky smile on my lips, and continued.

"Their chest as well, women in particular – you shouldn't neglect their chest."

I wasn't sure if I should tease Allen any more than I already had, he seemed weak, dazed even. Though, I managed to slip my hands under his vest, and my hands spread out, only to capsize back in to small fists, as I caressed his skin through his shirt. I watched as his neck strained, and his head thrashed to the left and another gasp was audible.

"Lavi, I… we need to stop. Please, just for now. Stop- ah! STOP."

His voice scared me off; I sat back up and was ready to offer an apology, when something hard prodded my rear. I blinked, taking note of his flushed cheeks, then looking down to his pants, and then back up. A small smile spread on to my lips, and I laughed triumphantly.

"It seems that I'm not the only one with this problem, hmm?"

Allen's brows furrowed, and he tried to shove me off of him. I refused to budge, but I did manage to wiggle my hips a little, just to torture him. The sound that left his lips was so much better than the small gasps that he'd been letting out before. It was more of a moan – longer, more drawn out and it was dripping with want.

I was near losing my control, and I couldn't do anything to Allen, not with his consent at least. A small trickle of sweat dribbled its way down the side of my face, before I wiped it away, and repositioned myself, so that I was on the couch instead of his groin.

"Please don't say anything about this Lavi, it was a mistake, just like that one time-"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep quiet. Just a mistake – that's all it was to him. He wasn't feeling anything for me, but it was just the pleasure that I was evoking on his body.

"I was just trying to prove a point, that's all Allen."

I laughed, but it was a plastic one, and the façade didn't quite make it to the surface. He sat up too, rubbing his neck slowly, but with more force than he had probably intended.

"Look, I'm pretty starved. I'm going to go down to the cafeteria, wanna come?"

His offer was sincere, but I wasn't quite up to seeing everyone, especially Lenalee, so I declined. I needed time to think, and be on my own - without the disturbance of Allen Walker.

Watching him leave was painful, not that it mattered. Allen was too blind to take notice of my emotions, he just couldn't see past the acts.

**Okay, that's it for today.**

**; n ;**

**so tired. I hope this chapter is okay .  
**

**But next time, I'm going to mix it up, and try writing in Allen's pov. I think that I need to, in order to get what I want through. ;D  
review please. C:**


	6. Chapter 6

**TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY – WHAT?  
no, but seriously.**

**I was feeling writy… if that's even a word.**

**I lied about allen's chapter being this one, it's not.**

**Say hello to lavi once again. **

**6.**

Its still night when I wake up, and I let out a breath that I had to of been holding in my sleep. I wouldn't call that sleep, more like lucid dreaming that I had absolutely no control over. I knew that the things were going to happen, it was like a slideshow, and I could see what was coming next, though there was no possible way of preventing the oncoming disaster. I was stuck in place as that terrible scene unfolded over and over again. A mistake – that's all I was, and ever would be. The pain in my chest prevailed over everything, and I had to press my palm to my bare skin, in hope to settle my heart. I say my heart, but I really have no way of knowing if it was in fact my heart that made my chest pound so.

I let out another long, drawn out breath, and collapsed back in to the mess of sheets and pillows. It was pitch black in my room, save the small sliver of moon light that slipped itself through the curtains. It was alone, and it bothered me, so I marched over and drew back the curtains completely with as much force as I possibly could. It resulted in tearing the fabric right off the metal rod. I glance at the clock, and solidify that it is still night. There was at least five more hours before it's a reasonable time to be awake. I discarded the torn fabric on the floor of my bedroom, and headed back to my bed, which I miserably crawled in to. I really was worthless, with the exception of being bookman's successor. That was all that mattered when I was younger, before I met Allen. Before I made a friend that I decided to pour my feelings in to, and care about with all my being.

I knew Bookman could tell I was going astray from the designated path for me, but he refused to say anything. It was evident from the disappointed look in his eyes, and the tone he took from me. Overall, his entire appearance changed around me, it was disgrace. He was disgraced of me; I bet he wouldn't have me with him, if he didn't need me. It was fate for me to inherit the job of a bookman, and record history as it is made. Nothing more, and nothing less, I wasn't worth a dime. The pain in my chest returned, but I pounded back. I'm meant to be alone, and alone is what protects me. It was what kept me going all these years, until I wasn't.

My solitude had been broken by the white haired exorcist, and ever since he'd break down constant barriers that I didn't know I had. Allen changed me, for better or for worse, he's made me feel. I detested emotions, _caring_ about someone, caring what they thought of _me._ These lackluster traits we're of no use to me, and I wish I didn't posses. I was used to those boring, blank days where nothing in particular happened, but then there were always things that happened. It was all the same to me, and I almost longed for them to come again.

I almost thought that I'd slipped in to yet another dream, but as I fidgeted around, I knew it wasn't one. Everything felt _too _real to be a dream. The soft footsteps outside in the hallway padded closer and closer. The echoing of their feet bounced from wall to wall, and back again making their steps all the more audible. Apparently it wasn't an intruder, because if it was – he would have already been apprehended. That made my mind crawl with curiosity, who could possibly be creeping around the headquarters in the dead of night? My brain jumped to Lenalee. She could be sneaking off to Allen's room, which would lead to disrobing, and then…sex.

I wasn't about to let that happen right under my nose. I'd catch her in the midst of her dirty act, and there wasn't anything she could say to get herself out of it. Then I'd out her to the entire order, and she'd be shunned as the whore should. I stopped at my door, and bit back a laugh. Did I honestly just think that? I've become harsh in my jealous ways. I honed in on the steps, as they approached three doors down. They were quite slow, taking their time obviously – enjoying the walk to their lovers' bedroom, or in this case, _her _lovers' bedroom. Though, I refused to consider Allen her lover. It was too disgusting to even consider, even though I'd seen them kiss only hours before.

The steps we're just to my door now, and I quickly took initiative and reeled the door open, only to hit the person head on. They went flying in the other direction and landed on the floor with a soft thump. A small groan drifted to my ears, and I immediately felt guilt cover me from head to toe. I shuffled over to the body, and tried helping them up, it was too dark to tell who it was, though they were quite warm. I was reminiscent of earlier, and it wasn't good. I struggled dragging the limp body in to my room, and by limp I do not mean dead. At the very least I felt like a murderer taking his victim in to the secret lair, though there were many other stereotypes I could fit in to in this very moment. Rapist, creep, serial killer, noah. Take your pick.

Once in the privacy of my own room, I'd managed to slump the body against the wall, sitting upright on my bed. Petal white hair and soft, supple skin faced me. _Shit,_ I'd just knocked Allen unconscious – unintentionally of course. I leaned forward, moving the hair out of his face, so that I could take a look at the injury that he had sustained in the battle between the door. It was a small red bump, just above his left eye. Earlier I felt guilty, now I was overwhelmed with guilt. What was I going to do if he never woke up? _Shit, shit, shit, shit._ I silently cursed to myself, while tugging at my hair, hoping some miracle solution would come to mind. Nothing did, so I resulted to shaking him softly by the shoulders. His thin frame followed my motions perfectly, backwards, and then forwards until his eyes began to move.

"Lavi…?"

"Allen!"

I yelped, and gathered the bemused by in my arms, and taking in his scent unbeknownst to him.

"What happened?"

He questioned quizzically, softly poking at his injury on his forehead. I pulled away his hand, and shook my head.

"I'm sorry Allen; you were walking by when I opened my door. What were you doing out so late?"

His blush was noticeable in the dim light, and I had to suppress a small laugh, he was positively striking when embarrassed.

"I was coming to talk to you. I'm sorry for what happened earlier. But, I really think you're right. Learning that way is probably the most efficient and I'd like to continue – if you're still up for teaching me."

I had to shut my trap for a moment. He wanted me to do things to him? Well, that wasn't exactly how he had put it, but it was basically saying the same thing. He was giving me permission, permission to caress him. Shit, who was I to say no to him?

"Sure Allen, I'm always here to help. Where do you want to start?"

He perked up slightly, no longer feeling guilty. He scooted away from the wall, and adjusted himself so that his back was to my headboard, and his front faced me, complete with a nervous smile. A nervous smile that brought me closer, until I hovered above him, letting my warm breath cascade down the nape of his neck. My hands were stationed on either side of his hips, pressing my weight in to the mattress. I had to laugh at the irony of the situation - I'd thought that It had been Lenalee outside, creeping to Allen's room to make love, when it was actually Allen who was sneaking to my room to do these things.

"I just want to know how to make someone happy."

His voice was hoarse, but I didn't miss the change. Instead of using 'her,' or 'Lenalee,' he'd changed it to someone. My brows furrowed, and halted my lips, which were just mere centimeters from the exposed skin of his neck. I trailed my lips upwards to his ear.

"You need to decide upon your target, male, or female. The variations of ways to pleasure change."

I slipped the edge of his ear between my lips, and waited for a reaction. I heard the hiss of air intake that sounded too much like a leaky tire. I smirked, and continued. My teeth trailed the edge, biting softly, before lapping the skin with my tongue once over.

"Though, I suppose you don't need to answer now. I can just show you moves that aren't particular to any…_sex_."

I blew the last word in to his ear, before sliding slowly back down to his over exposed neck. This neck had it coming for months now, ever since the mission where we'd encountered Krory. Sick vampire fantasies had welcomingly invited themselves in to my bed for weeks after that. The worst part about having them was that I was terrified by vampires; I shouldn't have been as turned on as I was.

My tongue darted out to tickle at the skin covering his Adam's apple which bobbed erratically as I lapped over it twice, and then once more. His skin was sweet, and damp with perspiration. I seized his wrists, and brought them above his head, and held them in place with my right hand. His eyes cracked open nervously, to send a worried gaze in my direction. I laughed away his worries, and went back to the ministration I'd previously been adorning his neck with.

"Don't worry Allen; dominance is part of the act."

I reassured him one final time, before latching my lips on to his neck, and sucking softly, but with an ounce of force behind it. He hissed softly, and I switched to lapping the red skin, in an attempt to apologize. His breathing was back to the normal short bursts, so I went back to sucking the same place. I would pause to lick and nip every few seconds, until Allen resisted.

"Wait, Lavi, isn't that going to…" He stopped to let out a strangled gasp. "Leave a mark?"

I sat up, and cursed to myself for the second time that night, the kid was right.

"Um, you're right. It probably will. I'm sorry… just; make sure to keep it hidden, yeah?"

He glared at me, and I laughed nervously, running my fingertips softly over the love mark. He sighed in defeat, and in a way it was his own personal way of allowing me to continue.

"Alright, so once you've attended to the neck area, and left marks and such – if you want too, they're not necessary of course. You move to their chest."

I gathered in a big gulp of air, before releasing his hands so that it'd be possible to use both hands to unbutton his shirt. My fingers clutched the fabric that was keeping his skin hidden from me, and they began to shake. Everything began to slip in to that surreal state, and I almost didn't believe what I was doing at this point.

"Um, Lavi?"

Allen's questioning tone brought me out of my state, I quickly peeled open his shirt, and dipped my head down to his chest. I gave it a soft kiss on the right, where his heart was, and rested there for a moment. Being so close to his heart, flesh to flesh – I felt my mood suddenly soar. I was euphoric, over the moon, beyond pleased. I carried on with my endeavor, but strayed from his nipples. I was afraid that it'd scare him away if I were to go right to them, so I refrained, but rather attended to them with my fingers. Gently, I pinched and rolled the dustily pigmented nipples between my fingers. My head carried on down, to his navel. I gazed up to find him all eyes, clearly watching me. I dropped my eyelids slightly, and smirked up at him, before dipping my tongue down in to his navel.

His eyes faltered, before fluttering shut. His mouth almost simultaneously let out a soft moan. Allen's hips began to jolt on their own accord, thrusting upwards, in a chance of meeting something that they could rock against. It was all too overwhelming for my senses. He was clearly turned on, and wasn't asking me to stop.

I drug my tongue to the right, and downwards until it met his trousers. I growled in slight annoyance. If it weren't for these damned clothes, I'd be able to go _much _further than this. My fingers fumbled, reaching for the buttons of them, before Allen's hands batted me away. It was all too sudden. I sat up, overcome, and confused.

"I…I think that's enough for tonight, right?"

His smile refused to hide the nervous that lay underneath his voice, and cheeky grin. I smiled to myself, and tangled my hand in to his ivory hair. I let my fingers graze his scalp gently, as I leaned in, but suddenly stopped myself. What was I doing? This was a lesson, and I'd neglected to remind myself of such. With the reminder, the dull ache in my chest reappeared.

"Right. You should get some sleep Allen."

He stood from my bed, and adjusted his clothing. I watched as nimble fingers buttoned his shirt, and adjusted his hair so that it was no longer in disarray. I laughed at him, and his hands found his hips, as he glared at me with a childish intent behind it.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just wondering what people might say if they saw you leaving my room this late in such frenzy, so…"

I paused before him, glancing down at his lower half.

"_Turned on."_

Not a second had passed since I'd finished my sentence, but Allen was already denying my accusations, words flying out of his mouth at a million miles an hour.

"I'm not turned on! This was just a lesson; I don't know what you're talking about."

I chuckled to myself as I stepped him back in to a wall. His grey eyes were still glinting with determination. He wanted to win the dispute he'd started, but I knew he wasn't going to. I tenderly pressed my palm against his erection, and his entire body went ridged.

"…_Lavi…"_

My name came out as a pant, and the blood in my veins was sent afire with passion, and need for the boy. I ground my palm roughly against him this time, and his breathing hitched, as a loud moan left his parted lips. Allen was almost hyperventilating, and it sort of scared me. I hooked my fingers in the belt loops, and pulled him flush against me.

"Perhaps you should reconsider your previous statement."

I removed my lips from his ear, and softly ground my hips against his. My erection was receiving friction from his own hardness, and my knees almost gave way too my pleasure. I wasn't used to this stuff, I'd never felt this good, not even with a woman.

"Lavi, this doesn't feel like a lesson anymore…"

As hard as I was, and as lust driven as I was, those words stopped me in my tracks. A lesson - I'd gotten carried away again. I damned my emotions to hell, and released my grip on Allen. I heard his footsteps as he exited my room. He might have said something, but I'm not sure.

**So NEXT CHAPTER will be in Allen's pov.**

**I just had to get this scene out of the way. **

**;3**

**Review please c:**


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

I'd fallen asleep so easily last night, even though my head was filled with pressing thoughts that refused to relent. They pounded on my skull, refusing to give in and just flutter away. I needed answers, and they weren't answers that anyone else could give me – other than myself. What had happened last night was strange, and it left me feeling oddly dreamlike. Not that it was some majestic, life changing moment in my life – but more so that it had me seeing everything through a haze, and my body felt heavy, weighted down by some unseen force. My heart felt out of the ordinary as well, it had been pounding so loudly when Lavi was doing those things to me. I obviously liked them, it felt good having him touch me, but it was also unnerving.

How did I feel about this all? Was last night even a lesson? And could what we were doing even be considered a sort of lesson in the first place. I'd never heard of anyone learn from physical contact with their teacher before. I had known that before it had happened, before I agreed. Though, what really mattered was that I _AGREED _to let him do those things to me, to let his hands touch me, make me _feel._

I couldn't think about this nonsense any longer, it was making my head hurt worse. The growl my stomach made could have waked the dead. I clutched at my empty stomach, and rolled over, moaning. I was too lazy, but desperate for food. Maybe I could get Lavi to –

No. I couldn't ask Lavi to do anything for me, not until I figured this thing out. Lavi made me feel funny on the outside, but how did I feel about him on the inside? He was my best friend at the order, and he always was a laugh. He had that quality that could cheer someone up even when they're beyond troubled. He made my worries seem a million miles away, but this time, he was my worry.

A timid knock on my door startled me out of my racing thoughts. I sighed, and heaved myself up, and over to the door. It was Krory. He was worried about me because I hadn't been down for breakfast yet. I had to laugh, it was funny – whenever I nearly missed a meal everyone worried, they knew something wasn't right. I guess it was sort of a dead giveaway. My apatite was rather large, and hard to satisfy.

Satisfy. That was one of the feelings that coursed through my body last night with the caress of Lavi. Satisfaction when the moans left me and his lips met my hot skin. I suppressed a shiver, and decided to follow Krory down to the cafeteria. I wasn't about to let myself have _that _problem again.

"Hey Allen, what's that?"

Krory asked blatantly, pointing at my neck. He had stopped in the middle of the hall, so obviously it was truly puzzling. I had no idea what he could have been talking about? A bite, no… perhaps I had a bruis –

Then it hit me.

"_Shit."_

I cursed, hiding the love mark Lavi had left me with last night. It was still prominent? Of course it was, he had said it would be.

"Allen, that's not a hickey, is it?"

I laughed off his statement, and continued to walk.

"Whatever that is, it's not like they mean anything anyways."

Krory had stopped in front of me again, before I could enter the cafeteria.

"You don't know what a love mark means? Allen, it shows ownership, possession, passion…"

He trailed off, with his cheeks reddening, obviously thinking of Eliade. Ownership? Possession? Is that what Lavi was trying to convey when he had marked me last night? Damn, not this feeling again. I wasn't going to let my emotions win this time. I pushed through the doors, but they hit something, which managed to close them once again. I slipped through to help the other person up, but immediately felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Lavi?"

He rubbed at his red-headed locks, groaning in a slight pain which only really proved to make my vivid imagination flourish.

"Ah, not cool Allen, at least I helped you up last night."

He teased, holding a hand out to me. People were starring, and I couldn't touch him. It wasn't that I was afraid that they knew - there was no way. Though, touching him would result in practically reliving last night. His warm fingers upon my skin, trailing down lower, and _lower._

"Sorry Lavi, breakfast calls~"

I yelled back to him, narrowly avoiding the confrontation I didn't wish to have. Perhaps I'd talk another time; once I'd figured out how I felt. Once I knew that if what I was feeling was lust, or something more, something that shrunk in the shadow of lust – it really could be anything.

Breakfast was mundane at best; I gobbled down my food in silence, mainly because no one opted to speak to me for the first time in a while. Not even Lenalee approached me – which was weird. Did she not like me anymore? I'd have to speak to her, and I knew it.

I figured now was as best a time as any. She wasn't in the cafeteria after I finished, so I searched out her room. After three wrong tries, I found it. Lenalee answered, and seemed shocked to see me standing there.

"Allen? What are you…?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and stepped in as she made way for me.

"I'm here because you we're avoiding me earlier. What's wrong Lenalee?"

She crossed her arms, but refused to meet my gaze. Instead she chose to stare out the window, which was also odd to me. Before, she would always stare at me and now it was as if she were trying to glance at anything but me.

"Allen, everyone saw."

I was confused. Everyone saw? Everyone saw what?

"What are you talking about Lenalee?"

I walked closer, reaching out to touch her shoulder. It was a desperate attempt on my part, I wanted to touch, to solidify that we were still here.

"_I saw."_

I could be _so_ slow sometimes. It was the same thing that Krory had been talking about earlier; there wasn't anything else it could have been. This love mark sure had become a hindrance to me. I ran my fingers over it, and couldn't help but shiver. She was watching me now.

"Who gave it to you?"

It was my turn to avert my gaze, and I added a blush – not that it was a choice.

"Lenalee, I'm sorry. It's nothing, I promise. I was just playing around, honest."

"So you were just playing around when you kissed _me?_ Allen you can be so _clueless _for people's feelings."

She was close to tears; I could hear it in her voice. It bothered me; I didn't want to make someone so close to me cry. I reached out, and gripped her shoulders, before pulling her to me softly. She resisted at first, but eventually melted against me, and sobbed relentlessly.

"I'm sorry." I repeated. "I have some things to figure out, but I promise I never intended to hurt you."

Lenalee wasn't crying anymore, but she still wouldn't meet my eyes. It was a lot like a kick in the stomach, it took the breath from you, and made you hurt. I couldn't be in this room any longer. I was angry, angry because of this stupid mark he'd left on me. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have had all these awkward and uncomfortable confrontations today.

I needed to see him; I needed to see him _now._

_**Ahhh, I'm almost done with this fic. C:**_

_**How will it end ? **_

_**X3**_

_**Allen's pissed, and I'm angry.**_

_**I know my Allen wasn't perfect, but I tried ;3**_

_**I hope you all enjoyed .^^ **_

_**& to the reviewer that said I wrote a good Lavi, I really appreciate it, so much. It really means a lot to me. C:**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Just thought I'd LAVI- UP your night. **

**C:**

**Chapter 8~**

**8.**

I wasn't doing much of anything to begin with today, so when someone decided to uproariously knock on my door like it was a life or death matter, of course I'd leapt at the chance to open the door. Only, this time, I'd wished I didn't. A fist with pure rage backing it up floored towards my face, and I had managed to miss it by just an inch. Allen dove in to my apartment, and fell face first on to the floor. I had to wince; because it looked like it hurt a hell of a lot worse than getting punched in the face would have, though it didn't stop him in the least. He forced himself up, and in an instant was at it again, charging at me with his fist wielded towards me. I was still at a loss as to what I had done to Allen that deserved this sort of treatment. Dodging him around my room began to get annoying, so as we made our round across the room, I quickly pinned him to the bed.

He wasn't happy about that. He spat out insult upon insult, and to be honest it kind of hurt. This wasn't the Allen I knew, what was going on? The boy underneath me was nothing like Allen, he was angry, and out for revenge. What could I have possibly done to upset him to such a great length? I stared down blankly at the raging ivory haired bull below me.

"Allen, _breath, _what's wrong?"

In his bout of anger, he was quite strong apparently. He was able to break past my suppression, and shove me backwards, so that I in turn fell on to the bed, but knocked my head against the brick wall. I couldn't see straight at first, which I found pathetic. I should have been used to that sort of treatment by now, since fighting Akuma was a normal thing nowadays. I took a deep breath, and reopened my eyes, locking them with his.

"Answer me Allen, you owe me an answer. Last I checked, you were the one who knocked _me_ down."

"What does any of that matter? Everyone saw."

I sat back, and gave him a once over. He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze which I desperately tried to keep under control. I honestly hadn't the slightest clue as to what he could have been speaking of.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lavi, _everyone saw, _even Lenalee."

He turned his neck, and my eyes landed straight on the hickey I'd left on him the night before. This couldn't be what he was talking about, could it? Why he was so angry, why he hit me, and nearly made me black out… it just couldn't.

"Allen, you're telling me that the reason you stormed in here and nearly killed me was because of a stupid mark I left on you when I was doing _you _a favor?"

_Shit._ That last part had come out much harsher than I had previously intended it to. It was too late though, the blow had already struck Allen, and at first it was hard to tell what he thought. Silence descended upon my room, and it left me strangely apprehensive.

"Allen I didn't mean it like that. Honestly I –"

The look he gave me stopped me in my tracks. His grey eyes rose to meet mine, but they were empty. He wasn't angry anymore, but I swore that it was much different than normal. They lacked their shine that was normally tucked around the edges of his iris, and dusted throughout. If I could have taken back what I had said, I would.

"I get it Lavi. I won't be asking for any more help from you, or anyone else."

His words hit me harder than the brick wall did. I quickly crawled off my bed, and snatched at his wrists before he could leave. He reeled around and planted a harsh smack on my cheek. Normally, no one was worth this amount of trouble in my book, but Allen was. So I refused to give up the hold that I possessed on his fragile wrist, no matter how hard he intended to hit me.

"Hit me if it will make you feel better."

I mumbled softly, thinking he wouldn't hear it.

"Perhaps I will."

He responded blankly, stepping closer to me. I almost regretted telling him to hit me, but I was going to stick to my word if he intended to do so. Though, as he stepped closer the intimidation that was once there seemed to falter, before completely melting away. Timidly I let go of his hand, but remained still, where I was. His hand came up, and hesitantly touched where he had previously hit. I winced slightly, because it still stung, but his gentle fingers were consistent.

"Allen…?"  
I asked quietly, and he blinked a few times, before dropping his hand. Confusion hit me hard, not quite as hard as everything that had happened today, but still quite hard. He moved to step back, and I noticed guilt in the horizon of his eyes.

"Allen don't be sorry."

I ordered, gripping his chin, and turning his attention back to me once again. His eyes didn't leave mine, but his cheeks seemed to grow a tinge of pink. I couldn't help but feel drawn to him again. It was both the worst and the best moment to make a move. Our closeness and position was absolutely ideal. Though what had just happened made the whole situation risky in itself. Would he go for it? What was I even saying? Allen was only doing those things with me because of Lenalee.

"Lavi…I shouldn't have treated you like that."

I shook my head, and leaned down slightly, but stopped myself from going in for a kiss. I couldn't – I liked him too much to risk it. I could lose it all, this closeness and even him. I bypassed his lips for the second time since I had started teaching him and went for his ear.

"It doesn't matter anymore Allen. Are you alright?"

I asked quietly, feeling quite stupid, standing in the center of my room, so close to him.

"I'm fine, but you. Your head, does it hurt?"

He asked; suddenly back to his normal self. Allen reached forward, and pulled my head down by my neck, searching for a crack of some sort. He obviously didn't find one, but it felt damn good having his fingers lace and entwine in my scorching locks.

"I'm okay I promise. But…"

I decided it'd be worth it to test the waters.

"Being this close, I can't help but feel like you want another…_lesson."_

I smirked; teasing him was so much fun. It was nearly as fun as actually doing things to him. His cheeks flushed, and his hands left my hair.

"Aww Allen, relax. I was just joking. The hair thing felt good."

I pouted, stepping him back until he sat on the bed. I quickly climbed up as well, and rested my head on his lap, happily looking up at him like a young child. He held back a small laugh, but gave in to my wishes. His fingers once again tangled themselves in my hair, and continued to mess it around. My eyesight had begun to blur, and I knew I was getting tired. Allen had that calming affect that mothers did…not that I was comparing him to a mother of course.

My eyes were shut, but it was as if I could still see Allen's face, staring straight ahead, almost awkwardly. I knew he was trying not to look at me, but it was all a bit ridiculous. His pink cheeks, and pale complected hair should have clashed, but they went together so perfectly. A small burst of air hit my cheeks, and it almost startled me enough to get my eyes to open. Though, I refused, because I knew if I opened my eyes, Allen would stop his actions.

So, I held perfectly still, farcing sleep. I prayed that he wouldn't stop, and that he wouldn't notice. I could almost feel his lips, and taste the inside of his mouth. I wanted him so bad that it almost hurt me to be around him, especially when I was in such close quarters. His breath continued to ghost across my cheeks, and it began to leave me anxious. Was he going to kiss me or wasn't he? I pretended to groan in my sleep, and shift slightly, so that I could press my face in to his stomach. He was warm, and a second later, I felt his fingers in my hair again, and something soft against my cheek.

My head shot up almost immediately, and Allen's upper body flew back, and his gaze was averted to the wall.

"Did you just kiss me?"

Allen's words were caught in his throat, and he couldn't speak, so he mumbled things I couldn't understand. His face went from pink to scarlet – like my hair. It was the most adorable thing I had yet to witness from him. I crawled up on to my knees, refusing to let up on this. I scooted closer to him, and pecked his cheek tenderly, I could feel the heat press to my lips and it left me with an urgency to press more kisses to his soft skin.

"Just like that. You did, didn't you?"

"Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about!"

I leaned in close again, and latched my arms around his neck, playfully.

"Allen, don't tell me that you secretly fancy me~"

I cooed in to his ear, huskily breathing softly to add a sensual emphasis to my words. He shivered, but tried to hide it by wiggling around. It didn't work of course, so I decided that pinning him to my mattress would help the situation a lot. His wrists twisted around in my grip, but I refused to let them go, and instead climbed on top of him. I planted myself right where the action would hopefully show, and leaned forward again.

"Of course I don't! Lavi…please, let me go."

His words ended in a whimper, and it left goose bumps on my flesh.

"You don't seem very sure…of that answer."

I mumbled, tracing my lips down the side of his cheek, until I reached his lips. I stopped a mere centimeter from them, and glanced up at Allen. He was flushed from ear to ear, and looked almost…expectant? Did he want a kiss?

"Tell me what you want."

I murmured, softly letting my lips drag along his. A small moan left his parted lip, as he tilted his head upwards, trying to connect them further. I leaned back, refusing to give the white haired exorcist what he wanted. Instead I rolled my hips, letting my rear grind against his lower half. If everything went as planned, he'd be feeling a lot more very soon.

"Ah, not until you tell me what you want."

As much as it pained me, I had to have some sort of restraint. I had to know that he wanted this as much as I did, or at least a fraction.

"Lavi, quit joking around."

He didn't seem very happy, and I didn't really care for a repeat of earlier. Though, it was still worth a push or two.

"No, Allen. Tell me you want it."

He was still struggling to come to terms with the pleasure my hips had inflicted on him moments ago, and small pants left his lips every now and again which nearly drove me mad. My finger reached up to trace the curse mark on the left side of his face. I'd somehow thought it would be searing, or differently textured than the rest of his skin, but it wasn't. Though, it did elect another moan from the boy.

"_LAVI." _

He breathed out, bucking his hips up a fraction of an inch, though I felt it. I'd abandoned all thoughts of making him beg for me, because all this time I had been begging for him, and now I had him to myself – lying on my bed, disheveled. What was I going to do?

**AH HAH.  
CLIFFY 8)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I decided not to make you all wait TOO long for probably the main reason you're reading this fic~**

**Closure xD**

**Ps, written while watching Boogeyman 2, so if there are mistakes – you can't blame me ! 8D**

**9.**

I knew I could take my time with this, but I had to practically tear my eyes away from Allen's body. His chest still rose and fell with ragged breaths. I knew that this heat and gasps were all on account of me – what I'd done to him made him want me. He wanted me as I wanted him, and I planned to take advantage of that particular fact.

Allen's face was flushed with need, but it was difficult to take much else in as his eyes met mine. A timid smile graced his lips, as he pressed his shoulders deeper in to the mattress. My body lurched forward, hoping to swoop in and capture those smiling lips, but a sudden fear caused me to halt. I reached out with hesitant fingers, and traced them along his plump bottom lip. His lips parted and I felt sudden warmth engulf my finger. I broke the eye contact to drop my gaze down; his tongue was wrapped skillfully around my pointer finger. I couldn't resist the smirk that spread across my mouth as I leaned down to whisper against his lips:

"You're really driving me crazy Allen."

"_Then do something about it."_

He breathed the kinky retort sensually so that it pressed against my lips. That was it – I wasn't going to waste any more time with this torture. I reached down to take hold of his neck, and bring his lips against mine roughly. Finally having Allen so close, it was a whole new world. His lips were just as I had imagined them so many times before, and having them move against mine asking for more – wanting to be dominated, _god_ it drove me wild. I pressed him closer still, and let my teeth graze his bottom lip, before nipping until I heard the gasp, and felt his lips part. My power hungry tongue dove in to his mouth the second the chance was presented to it, and traced the length of his own tongue before it started to move against mine.

The lust made me dizzy, and I wanted him closer still. I swung my leg over his body, so that I could rest on top of him. Gently, I released the grip that I had on his neck, and laid him back down on to the pillows. I used my now free hand to knead his upper thigh, before moving up still to take a possessive grip on his rear. My other hand moved to do the same to his other side, and I felt him jump slightly. I had to break the kiss, because I was running out of breath fast. Allen was panting when we parted, but a quirky smirk was plastered on to his face.

"What?"

I growled, moving down to attach my lips to his neck again, leaving small marks here and there as I went. He didn't answer at first, but a stream of ineligible moans left his lips. Filled with need, his hands moved up my back until they reached my hair. I let my eye sight move to the left, wondering what he could be up to, but a second later, my head was yanked back with the force of his tug. A soft pant left my lips, and I moved them back up to his.

"I knew you didn't just want to help me get with Lenalee."

"Shut up Allen!"

I flushed, turning away. I didn't want to show him my embarrassment, but instead of letting me be, his fingers gripped my chin with a sudden burst of dominance behind it. I was leaning in to his touch, and before I knew it, I was back against his lips again. Moving, feeling, tasting… everything felt surreal to me, and I didn't want it to end. I left his lips with a single bite, before I pulled away to rid myself of the shirt that I had been wearing. Allen too initiative and did the same for himself, which kind of upset me. I'd always imagined undressing him, nice and slow, but the moment I saw him laying back down – without the confinements of a shirt, I'd abandoned all woes.

My pants were beginning to feel unbearably tight, and I wanted nothing more than remove them. I heard a soft clink of metal, and then saw Allen's hands resting just inside the top of my trousers. He looked expectant, and sly. Obviously he was enjoying teasing me, who would have guessed that he could be so bold when it came to sex?

"Take them off, yeah?"

"Mmmm, you want them off? Maybe we should take yours off first."

I tackled him to the bed, before pinning both his arms above his head with one hand, and using the other to trail softly down his chest. The skin was soft, and supple, perfectly conditioned, and it only made me want to suck and nip the entire expanse of the flesh. I wasn't sure who's pants and moans were who's at this point, but I knew that if touching Allen would get me this hot, then _feeling_ him on me would be even more thrilling.

My fingers worked the small button out of its hole, and my other hand released the grip on his wrists. They fell helplessly to the mattress, and he smiled at me. I bit my lip, before moving to tug his trousers down his hips. Allen helped by lifting his lower half off the bed, and worked them off his ankles. I could already see how our previous ministrations had affected him through his pants. A rather prominent bulge throbbed through the cotton, reaching out, trying to capture my attention. I gave a cheeky grin to Allen, and reached down to cup him through the material. His hips instantly bucked upwards, and his moan startled me.

"L...Lavi, what are you doing?"

Now was the worst time for Allen to be utterly clueless. I swore, if I _did_ make it through this tonight I'd be a hero.

"Relax. I'm just…helping you. It feels good right?"

I asked, reaching to clutch at his length tightly, and pumping it through the fabric. A squeaky moan slipped past his lips as he nodded in my direction.

"Yeah it does, but I've never…"

My hand left his groin, and trailed up to take his hand and sit him up. I smiled softly, and leaned in to plant a tender kiss on his forehead.

"Allen if you're not ready…" I sighed, regretting this already. "We don't have to continue."

His gaze left mine, and travelled down to his protruding erection. I could tell that his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of scarlet at the sight. I couldn't make him do something that he didn't wish to do, there had to of been something else that would be able to satisfy both of us…

"Alright, Allen. It's fine, I have an idea."

I leaned forward once again, and eased him down on to the bed. His nervous smile led me to pressing my lips against his, and working my way inside his mouth. I played around with him, teasing him before fully taking dominance. His head tilted back, allowing me do gain better access, and I softly stroked the skin of his neck with the tips of my fingers before travelling back down to his hips. I softly slipped his cock out of its confinements, and worked mine out as well. I suppressed a growl as the cool air hit my aching hard on, and tried to control my urges. I took a deep breath, and smiled to Allen.

"Will you please…do me a real quick favor?"

He nodded, and sat up slightly. I quickly brought my hand to his lips, and my voice came out awkward.

"Could you…um, lick these… please?"

It may have been terribly uncomfortable for me to ask such a thing to the innocent boy that lay in front of me, but what he did next shocked me. He leaned forward, and took one finger in to his mouth. His head bobbed up and down as he took the length of it inside. I felt his tongue swirl around it, coating my finger in saliva. His mouth popped off, and took the next one in – doing the same as he had done before. He continued this erotic mini show until all five of my fingers were finely coated in his saliva.

I cleared my throat, feeling harder than ever. I wasn't sure if I could meet his gaze after what he had just done.

"Um, thanks Allen."

I mumbled awkwardly, and reached down to quickly take hold of our throbbing members. I fisted them roughly, taking a tight hold, and moving my fist in an up and down motion at high speed. I refused to slow down; it felt too good to have him pressed tightly against me. I brought him up to his knees, and kissed him again, this time with more need behind my lips.

Allen's moans were well – loud to say the least. I just had to hope no one had heard us. I panted loudly against his neck, as I continued stroking our erections. His hips began to move on their own accord, grinding against my own, but it sort of halted the process. My hand was caught between our hips, and since Allen was set on grinding against me, I decided that I could handle a little more foreplay before we finished – as painful as that had sounded.

I wretched my hand off our cocks, and a second later our hips were plastered together, moving back and forth, and up and down violently. Allen's moans turned in to soft squeaks amidst our pants, and groans. His hands were fisting my hair tightly, tangling themselves in to the red birds nest. I held tightly to his hips, and thrusted against him harder, searching for more friction.

"Lavi..maybe we should –aahh. Stop..mmmn."

His words were becoming lost in a hazy fog of ecstasy. I had lost my train of thought momentarily as a shockwave of pleasure coursed through my body and was sent straight down to my reddened member. Oh god, I was close. Just from this…? I could only prey that Allen was feeling the same, otherwise embarrassment would sweep away all accomplishments from me. Taking advantage of my last few moments before climax, I gripped both of our cocks again, and fisted them quickly up and down, and up and down.

Then it hit me.

Like a tidal wave crashing on to shore, I came. I could make out Allen's cries as he climaxes almost simultaneously. I couldn't help but thrust against him as I rode out my orgasm, enjoying the mixing of our moans. As I calmed down, I was able to clearly see Allen's face. He was panting, with his lips parted, and cheeks flushed with his eyes half lidded. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever taken in. I reached up with my clean hand to wipe away his bangs from his face, and delicately captured his lips in a kiss.

It wasn't exactly what I had planned for to happen, but it was still going to be unforgettable. I'd actually brought Allen to a climax. He'd enjoyed himself, and I finally got to kiss him. His lips were probably my favorite part. They were so soft, and so sensual. I could spend an eternity kissing him, and eventually I'd know what it felt like to make love to him.

For now, I was happy. I was content with the smaller boy wrapped around me as we stared out my window at the sky. As he pointed out the oncoming clouds, and as he pressed his face in to my chest just to inhale my scent. It was going to be a life worth living now that I had Allen in it. He was my precious exorcist, and I wouldn't let anyone or anything take him from me.

**So that's probably the end. **

**I'm so so sorry for siking you guys out. I know you wanted a full on sex scene,**

**But it was too uncomfortable for me to do at the moment. O;**

**I'll work on it and I promise that I will get better .**

**THEN I'll do another laven fic with a major sex scene.**

**I'd like to thank you all for staying with me & reading this through to the end.**

**& if you're a Pandora Hearts fan, you should check out my new fic! ^^**

**It's really lovely, and could use some amazing readers like yourselves. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I'd like to thank Hydrostatic for pointing out a few loose ends in my fic ^^;**

**Sort of pathetic for me to not notice, but still~**

**Can't let a story stay unfinished, can I ?**

**10.**

Allen was gone when I awoke the next morning, though I somehow couldn't bring myself to worry about it. I'd slept in, like normal which probably meant that the bottomless pit couldn't contain his growling stomach anymore and went down to satisfy it. The emptiness of the room left me stretching out in the bed, and letting out a large, satisfied yawn. I didn't understand how I could be tired so often, especially when I slept as much as I did.

There wasn't much to do in my room, I'll admit – so after showering I decided to venture down to the dining hall where I knew Allen would be. It was about time for lunch now, so the cafeteria was packed. Finders and exorcists alike inhabited the room, filling it with chatter and uproarious laughter. I swiveled my head around, trying to stop Allen's white haired self, but wasn't able to make him out anywhere. I took note of the tall, lanky looking man standing at the counter that I identified as Krory. I jogged up to him, and patted him on the back softly, so as not to frighten the timid, strange man.

"Hey, Krory. What's up, have you seen Allen around?"

Krory turned away from the window, and smiled weakly at me.

"Hi Lavi, haven't seen much of you lately."

"The old panda has me working to the bone shelving books! Anyways, Allen?"

I responded, hoping to keep him on track of where I wished for the conversation to lead.

"Oh, Allen? I haven't really seen him. Maybe if you were to ask…Kanda? He's been in here longer than I have."  
I thanked him, and quickly set off to find Yuu in this mess of people. I must have searched every single table before I finally found him, sandwiched between two finders and looking very agitated as always. I pressed my hands on to his shoulders, and it was almost as if hatred seeped out of his clothing.

"Hey, Yuu."

I smiled nervously, sticking my face close to his. A slight growl was audible, emitting from his throat.

"What do you want?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd seen Allen anywhere? He's nowhere to be seen."

I farced a fake look of over dramatic concern, and he grimaced, standing up and walking away with his tray still full of food. I hurried after him, stumbling over my own two feet.

"Stop following me. He isn't with me, that stupid bean sprout left the dining hall with Lenalee a while ago."

Just the mention of her name was enough to send my day soaring from great to horrible in a matter of seconds. I didn't bother thanking Kanda, because he wasn't all that helpful in the first place. I decided to wander around, in hopes to find them. Though, what I was likely to find frightened me. What if last night didn't really mean anything, it could have just been a moment of weakness for Allen. Well if it was, he certainly got what he had wanted…

I heard it;

The laugh that never ceased to make my blood boil. I marched around the corner to find her entangled around Allen, who was leaning against the wall. She seemed all too happy to be pressed tightly against him, and he couldn't have been more pleased. I had to furrow my brows in confusion, because I wasn't entirely too sure as to what was going on here. As Allen leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her lips, I was pretty sure I got the message.

I didn't bother to state my presence, but rather high tailed it back to my bedroom. I planned to sulk the entire night, and not do much of anything else. Obviously, Bookman had other plans for me. Just as I was approaching my door, I found the old geezer planted against the wall, waiting for my arrival. I wasn't sure how to evade him, seeing as how the hallway was just straight. I stood there at first, not moving, and trying to be as silent as I possibly could. He didn't take notice of me, so I reversed, and quickly fled from the hallway.

There was no way in hell that I'd be shelving books for him today, especially after what I had just been forced to watch. I say forced, but it wasn't necessarily forced on to me, was it? It was more like I knew what was going to happen, but still needed to verify with my own eyes. I needed to know that Allen didn't mean what he did last night. That he wasn't going to be true to me. I couldn't really blame him though, I felt like an idiot for believing that what happened last night was true.

Yet I still had trouble getting those lips, and those eyes out of my mind. He felt so perfect, and his gaze was so real…perhaps what happened was all a lie? Maybe he didn't mean it at all. I suppose that's how it's supposed to go though, I'm a future bookman. I'm not supposed to partake in relationships. It was foolish to even get close to Allen as I had, considering him my friend. It would likely be best if I were to just cut all losses, and give up on him all together. But that just wasn't like me; I couldn't give up on something that I truly wanted with all my soul.

I decided to stake out Allen's room; since the position at mine was already taken. It was silent in the order today, which was a major change for once. So when I heard the footsteps approaching, I nearly fell over due to the shock. They were loud in comparison to the silence.

"Lavi, what are you doing sitting outside my room…?"

I didn't think I'd be able to bring myself to meet his curious gaze, because all I could feel was the ultimate betrayal. I'd only just settled on denying myself of feelings and shutting everyone out as I should have done in the first place, but seeing his face set me straight back to square one.

"Um, I was waiting for you. Allen, we need to talk."

Allen's face fell slightly, as he opened the door to his room. I followed him in, before taking a seat on his bed. He stood in front of me, and I still refused to lock eyes. My fingers traced small designs in the material of the bed, and trying to take my mind off of the awkward situation I'd been thrust in to.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Lavi, you seem really down."

I slammed my fist in to the mattress, and finally met his gaze. His eyes were wide, and obviously clueless.

"Allen. Last night – er what happened… didn't it sort of mean something to you?"

Allen was quiet for a minute, before taking a seat next to me on the bed.

"Lavi, I have no idea what you're talking about. I was here last night… I don't remember doing anything particularly important."

Anger seemed to course through me the instant that those words left his lips. I turned abruptly; facing him, I took a tight grip on his shoulders and forced him down to the mattress.

"Stop playing around Allen. This isn't a joke. Last night. You know what happened!"

Allen struggled with the grip I had on him, it was evident that he was trying to break free. The worst part was he looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Lavi, I'm not joking at all. Honestly, I was here all night."

"You got to be KIDDING me."

I growled, before swooping down and capturing his lips in a rough kiss. It was as if I were taking out my anger in this physical act. Though, this time Allen's lips didn't move against mine. They were timid and frozen in place, until he began to struggle. His mouth opened trying to gasp for air, I quickly took the advantage I had and slipped my tongue inside his mouth. It was as if I were caught off guard though, because his hands that were against my chest shoved me roughly off him. So rough in fact that I'd lost my balance and fell completely off the bed.

"What's your problem Lavi?"

He cried, panting loudly on the bed. I sat up on the hard ground, glaring at him through the dizzy haze.

"No Allen; what's _your_ problem? Why were you kissing Lenalee?"

Allen moved to the edge of the bed, and rubbed his neck – refusing to look at me.

"Look Lavi, that isn't really your business, but we're kind of a thing. I think you're just very confused. Maybe you should get some rest."

I didn't bother to look back at him when I left. He was trying to make me believe that last night never happened? If he wanted to deny that anything had ever happened between us, why would he have done it in the first place? There was no use asking myself; and asking Allen would only result in more denial. I didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

I'd have to forget.

**okay, so I'm not sure if this chapter will make much sense.**

**But I'm continuing. Lol.**

**I hope you guys don't mind. ^^;**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the long-ish wait. Well, it was long for me.**

**I was on vacation, and wasn't able to bring along my laptop ;w;**

**But I had plenty of time to think up a plot for this chapter,**

**So good did come from it !**

**Enjoy~**

**11.**

My chest was heaving with the betrayal and rejection Allen had bestowed upon me. I knew it wasn't from the running, because I was used to it, as sad as it seemed. I should have been gasping for air from the exerting exercise, but I just wasn't. It _had _to be Allen, it just had to be. All these years, and all those people, _why Allen?_ What made me choose him to fall in love with? Everything was so tough with these feelings, and it certainly didn't help much of anything.

There wasn't any way that I had possibly dreamed up what happened last night, because it felt too real to me. The taste of his lips still lingered on mine, and it was as if I could feel his body pressed tightly against mine as it were last night. He had to be lying, or delusional – there was just no possible way. Though, with the answer of that question, another arose; _why?_ What did Allen gain from deluding himself from the truth? There wasn't any point; he wouldn't have done those things with me if he hadn't been true to himself. If Allen was being true to his emotions and feelings, that was all that mattered. But now, he wasn't.

And what was with Lenalee? Allen had said that they were a _thing._ A thing meant dating, right? But how long had they really been considered that? They certainly weren't that last night, as evident from Allen's actions. Lenalee to me was the source of all evil, I had possessed a relentless hatred towards the green haired exorcist, and even now, this event must have worsened it so. What could she have said or _done _to convince Allen of this total façade of feelings? Everything still made my brain ache with stress, I shouldn't be worrying about this, and I didn't need to. If he was happy with Lenalee, then I should let up, and leave them alone as I had told myself when I left Allen in his room earlier on this day.

Leave her to sweep Allen off his feet, and have him fall for her. Let them be happy, and pleasant with each other. Eventually it'd come out that the two were dating, and I'm sure everyone would be pleased, well… all with the exception of Komui and myself.

But then, a small fire of a fight still kindled inside me. If Lenalee wanted Allen, then she would have to work for it. I wasn't going to give up that easily, he had always meant so much to me – and on what planet is it fair that she can just waltz in on the scene and suddenly decide that she had more romantic intentions with him? I wasn't going to give in and give up without a fight.

I had gone for a shower and changed up my clothes, by that time it was already half past six. Dinner service would be just starting now, and knowing Allen, he'd already be there gobbling down his third meal of the day. After taking my small tray of food from the window, I spied him sitting at a table with Lenalee on his right, and an empty spot to his left. Across from the pair sat Krory, poking his fork miserably in to a half eaten steak. What had him down?

With a loud clang, I dropped my tray down on the table, and slid in tightly next to Allen, offering up a smirk that had more things than just one hidden behind it. I saw Lenalee scowl, before returning to her Asian style 'buffet' on her tray. I poked my spoon roughly in to my bowl of soup before retrieving it to take a sip. It was warm, which felt good in contrast to the frost weather we'd been recently having. Allen was staring straight down at his food, and he hadn't really moved since I had sat down.

"Why is everyone so quiet?"

I asked finally, pushing my soup to the side so that I could rest my elbows on the table in front of me.

"Maybe because no one wants you here, stupid Lavi."

Lenalee retorted, shoveling a large bite of white rice in to her mouth. I smiled back at her, gripping the table tightly – trying to hold tight to my sanity. Krory was denying her accusations, albeit blubberingly – maybe he was worried of what I thought. I turned to Allen, and smirked.

"Gee Allen; don't tell me Lenalee is so fierce in bed."  
This particular statement got all of their attention. Wide eyed and curious each one stared at me.

"I…I was just saying, those marks look pretty _passionate."_

I purred the last bit, leaning closer to Allen. Small purple marks were scattered around the skin of his neck, and they did look passionate – but they weren't from Lenalee. Of course they weren't, I knew where I had marked him prior to this wonderful dinner conversation, but I'd just spoke for jokes sake - Or rather, perhaps to get under Lenalee's skin.

I felt wet; or rather I was absolutely _soaking. _I blinked a few times, trying to take in what had just happened, when my eyes went from the empty glass in her hand, to her enraged facial expression. I sat back, and let out a soft giggle, before crossing my arms on my chest, and rising to stand high above the already standing Lenalee. I loomed closer, feeling even angrier than she proclaimed herself to be.

"You think you're so high and mighty because you've _brainwashed_ Allen."

I swooped in closer, before whispering harshly in to her ear: "You're not, and those marks are just the proof I need to solidify my previous statement."

I sat myself back down beside the still blushing Allen, who clutched at his stained neck trying to hide it. Lenalee was silent; obviously the meaning of my words had truly sunk in. I picked up the slender slice of bread from my tray and bit in to it, refusing to take my eyes off of her retreating back.

"W…What did you say to her Lavi? She looked pretty distraught."

Krory mumbled, still forking at his food. He refused to meet my eyes; it was like he feared that I would turn on him. I smiled, playing a small patter on the table in front of him with my fingers so that I could gain his attention. He saw my smile, and was instantly reassured of my loyalty to my _true_ friends. Slowly, my eyes dragged themselves over to the abandoned door of the dining hall, and my smile upturned in to a wicked smirk.

"Ding dong the witch is dead."

**So this was a pretty short chapter, but I just wanted to get in the confrontation with Lenalee and Lavi. Allen was pretty much dead this chapter, lol. But he'll be returning to the life of the living in the next chapter I promise~ **

**c:**

**review pleaaase, tell me what you're thinking ^^**


	12. Chapter 12

**12.**

Allen hadn't seemed all too pleased with me in the dining hall, but that didn't put a damper on my determination at all. I followed him to dump his tray – which I had done the same, and then out in to the hall, leaving Krory to his lonesome. I sort of felt bad for the guy, but it wasn't enough to stop me from continuing on with my plan. Allen knew that I was following him, but he refused to acknowledge me, obviously not much had changed since the confrontation with Lenalee. He'd been quiet as a mouse since she left, nibbling on his food here and there – which was totally out of character for the bottomless pit he so often was.

I wasn't sure how to handle it, because I knew that I was the cause of his outlandish behavior. There wasn't much of anything that I could do to revert him back to his normal self, or so I thought. But I sure as hell could try a few theories of my own. I sped up so that I could block his entrance in to his bedroom before he'd reached the knob. His eyes narrowed slightly, before his gaze completely fell from me all together. I had to wince; Allen was being way harsher than he needed to – not that he needed to be harsh at all to begin with.

"Allen, you haven't said a word to me at all."

I whined, trying to play off how badly it truly hurt me. His gaze trailed up to my face, looking tired but still he didn't speak a word. I ushered him on, touching his shoulder slightly, but he wretched himself out of my grasp. For a moment, my fingers stayed in the unoccupied air, trembling slightly.

"Come on! Throw me a bone here Allen, you're my best friend…"

His eyes hardened slightly, as he stepped closer. I had trouble swallowing having him so close to me, and not knowing his intentions.

"Can you move please?"

I glowered back at the shorter boy, and grabbed a fist full of his shirt, and tugged him closer, until his chest met mine. I was enraged, and I wasn't going to hide it from him. The way he had been treating me recently and his actions…everything was completely ludicrous!

"NO. I won't be moving Allen, not until you tell me what I did to deserve all this."

His eyes faltered slightly, and he averted his gaze, away from my face.

"Deserve what…?"

He asked softly, refusing to put up much of a fight. Allen let my hand continue to keep its intimidating grip on his collar; it was almost as if he didn't care at all.

"Don't play stupid with me Allen! You've been ignoring me, and when you do speak to me, it's utterly distasteful and rude!"

His body shook slightly, from side to side, and I wasn't sure what was going on, until he raised his face from the floor and I saw that he was…laughing? At first it was a silent sort of laugh, but it quickly erupted in to a much louder one that almost seemed impossible for his small frame. I went to take hold of his shoulders again, but stopped myself, remembering the mental note I had made earlier when he had flinched away from me.

"Allen…? You think this is funny?"

His hands were clutching his sides, and his laughter hadn't quite stopped, but he seemed to be almost enjoying it. I stepped back until I was pressed tightly against his door. I hadn't realized how tightly I was pushing in to it, until I heard it groan with my weight added to it. I pushed off slightly, and stared at Allen who had slightly quieted down.

"Allen. Please talk to me. I don't understand why you've been acting so weird since we…since we…"

I trailed off, not sure what to call what we had done. Though, this certainly got his attention. It sparked a glimmer in his eyes, and he quickly lunged for the doorknob, but I stopped his hand by grabbing it tightly and holding it up above his head. It dangled loosely, almost like it was going to detach from his body completely. Allen's eyes were fierce, and it only proved to intensify the glare he shot at me.

"Whatever you have to say, you can say out here Allen."

He stayed quiet for a while, until his arm was ripped from my grip. It was so sudden that I wasn't completely sure that he had done it himself. I looked down at him, and he was huffing with rage. His small shoulders rose up and down with every breath that pounded out of his mouth. Obviously I had done something to warrant this sort of behavior and treatment, though I just wish he was willing to tell me whatever it was I had done.

"I don't _have_ to speak to you."

"No. You don't _have_ to do anything, but I'm asking you to."

"I can't deal with this right now."

Allen moved forward, as if he had intended to shove me aside, but I quickly caught both of his struggling hands and pinned him against his bedroom door. He wasn't happy with my new found advantage, but I refused to give it up. I was living, and Allen didn't have a care in the world when it came to our current situation.

"Then when can you deal with it Allen? Because it seems to me like you've been avoiding me a whole lot lately."

My words seeped with agitation, but they did little to sooth Allen's rage. He fought ferociously against my grip, trying to destroy the grip I had on him. I lifted my leg to pin him further by pushing his hips against the wall as well. An audible wince left his lips, and I almost felt sorry for him.

"Sure. Go ahead and continue on with your silent act Allen. I doubt you can hurt me much more than you already have."

I stopped, and took in a deep breath, shutting my eyes momentarily, trying to keep myself from crying.

"But then…you wouldn't care, would you?"

It was a last attempt for him to tell me that he didn't mean to treat me the way he did. It was a pathetic attempt at that, but it was still something. There wasn't much of a change, aside from his eyes – they were wide eyed, and shocked. The look of pure confusion lead me to wonder if he honestly hadn't known that he had hurt me so badly. That was laughable, there wasn't any way he would be able to overlook that bulging fact. Softly, I released his hands, so that they fell to his sides. He was silent, and still refused to speak. I lifted my hand again, though this time it was formed in to a fist. Allen's eyes seemed to widen a size up, clearly afraid of me hurting him. …As if I'd be able to. I slammed my fist in to the stone wall behind his head, and gritted my teeth in pain. Small trails of blood began to form, and slide their way across the pale skin of my arm. I shut my eyes, and smiled.

"Just as I thought."

I moved back from him, and took a few steps away from him. He was shaking, with his arms held against his chest. Allen couldn't have possibly been worried about me, after the way he had been treating me. I shook my head, and turned to walk away. Half of me expected him to chase after me, grabbing a tight hold on my wrists, and wheeling me around with a heated apology on his lips…but it never came.


	13. Chapter 13

**13.**

Allen wasn't at the Order, which must have been pleasant news for him when he had been out shipped for his mission – but for me it wasn't. That meant that he'd have time away, and I wouldn't even be able to speak with him…not that I actually wanted to do much speaking as it was. I was still irked from our previous conversation, if you could call it that. It was almost as if Allen wasn't actually Allen. He was acting so different, it was shocking.

I'd spent most of the day slumping around the Order, not doing much of anything, and desperately trying to avoid any confrontation. I didn't have enough energy to interact, so I stayed away from densely populated areas, and secluded myself to the more scarcely ones. I had been afraid that Lenalee had been sent out on the mission with Allen, but when I found her I happened upon her in the library, I knew that it wasn't so.

She had herself cooped up in a window sill, reading some book. I couldn't help but narrow my eyes towards her, even when she seemed so harmless, I resented her. Especially after our last fiasco in the dining hall. I didn't see why Allen put up with her; actually, I didn't see how _anyone_ could at all. Lenalee was so needy, and rude. She felt entitled, and didn't seem to care how she treated others as long as she got what she felt she deserved. Even the way she treated Allen wasn't praise worthy. It was almost embarrassing.

More than anything, I wanted to shove the bookcase over, and let it land on her. It could have been a total freak accident, where we lost such a 'valued' exorcist, but then I knew that I would be the one forced to take action and clean up the mess afterwards. There was no way the old panda would clean something so horrendous up. All this backtracking, and honestly thinking deeply in to possibilities began to make my head pound worse than it had been all day.

I prodded my temples with the tips of my fingers, trying to eliminate the pain that focused there as I exited the room. I didn't think that running in to someone would help my worsening mood or condition of my headache, but I hadn't much time to react after all. Reever gripped my shoulder with one hand, the other still holding his clip board. I groaned, before steadying myself against the solid wall behind me. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, before flashing a smile at the troubled looking blonde.

"Something up?"

He scratched the back of his head, glaring at the floor in complete distain.

"Yeah, Koumi sent me to find you. Apparently you are going to be sent out for backup."

For once; my mood was slightly uplifted. Anywhere would be better than being stuck here, with two of my least favorite people. After parting ways with Reever, I hurried to my room to pack up what I'd need, before searching out Koumi. I found him at his usual throne – behind a cluttered desk with all attendants for the science division poking him for more signatures, and things to read through. It was odd, but I swore that he almost seemed pleased to see me. He pressed his hands flat on to his desk, and stood from his chair slightly. I stepped back a bit, before collapsing lazily to the plush couch in front of him. He was silent for a moment, probably relishing the absence of shouting, and requests. Slowly, he adjusted his glasses, before focusing his gaze on to me. I shifted uncomfortably before smiling back to him.

"So what exactly am I being out shipped for Koumi?"

"Well, Lavi. You see I'd sent out Allen late last night, and we haven't been able to contact him since he'd set out."

My chest shook with the flurry of different emotions that I felt so quickly, I wasn't able to say much. At the first mention of his name, I felt angered, and slightly annoyed that they had chosen me to go find him. It was almost an evil fate. Though, the moment the last bit about Allen being unreachable landed heavily with me. It didn't lay well, and it immediately had me worrying. Sure, he had been absolutely heartless and not caring in the least when it came to my feelings, and somewhat confession, but that didn't mean that I didn't care for him. He was still that same boy that I fell in love with.

I'd imagined it to be dead silent when I set out on the boat, headed for the train I'd have to make in exactly a half hour. It was a tight time frame, but I was willing to do whatever it took to keep Allen out of harm's way. It was a lonely ride, and the clouds in the sky did little to distract me from the worries that consumed my mind. I was preoccupied, and let my fingertips skim the frigid water as the boat carried on closer towards the shore. It wouldn't be long till we reached the trains, but my stomach still churned with worry.

What if I didn't find Allen…?

Or even worse – what if I did find him, but not in the best of condition? An image of him splayed on the cold ground, his body unmoving and lifeless. I slapped my hand across the water, cursing my vivid imagination. I wouldn't let that happen to Allen – never. Even if he would still insist on treating me the same as he had been when I finally saw him again.

I knew that it had only been less than a day since I last interacted with him, but I couldn't help missing him. Allen always left me wanting more of him, even if the way he treated me was sickening. I knew the true Allen, and I knew that he wasn't gone. He'd be back, there had to be an issue – or a problem that had caused him to act out the way he had been. I'd find out what it was when I met with him again.

**Okay, so I know that this is a really short chapter- much like they always are…but eventually..maybe.**

**Ah, anyways. **

**I just wanted to give everyone a heads up – my next story will not be a Laven fic! Sad, I know, but I wanted to try my hand at an Allen and Cross fic. ^^ **

**I'd really appreciate it if you guys took time out of your days to read it once it's up. C:**

**I promise it'll be worth your while~**


	14. Chapter 14

**14.**

Night had already fallen long ago by the time we reached the town that Allen had been sent off to. Apparently a swarm of Akuma had been plaguing this small settlement, and terrorizing the townspeople. They lived in fear, much like many of the people in small communities we'd passed through before. I tugged my coat closer to my body, as a cool breeze sifted through the street of the somewhat abandoned town. They were all the same – these towns. The used to be bustling streets seemed much wider than they truly were with the lack of bodies. The silence fell heavily on our shoulders, and the only sounds to reach my ears were that of our footsteps, and the harsh howl of the wind as it swept up clouds of dust.

I felt a weight on my shoulder and quickly hopped around, expecting to meet the face of a cannon. Though, it was just the simple one of the finder that had been sent along with me. He seemed nearly as sullen as I, when he spoke about getting a room at the inn up above at the top of the sloped streets of the ghost town. I could see small eyes peaking through the dimly lit windows, but aside from that we were alone. Those looks weren't necessarily friendly in the least, and it seemed like we didn't have much of a choice in the matter. The wind was picking up pretty quickly in the area, and it didn't seem safe to be out when an oncoming storm was soon to approach.

I wanted to continue our search for Allen, but as it stood – I didn't think that I could with the help of my finder. My head rose from the ground, and I gave him a cocky smile, before patting him on the shoulder.

"Go ahead and get a room, I'm going to look around a bit more. I'll be in later on."

The finders face fell, and he shifted his feet awkwardly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help for a little lo- aahCHOO!"

I sighed, how predictable. Of course he'd catch a cold…

"No, no. You don't seem so well. Just go on ahead, and I'll be there soon."

With the final conformation, I headed off back towards the woods that was just outside the town. It wasn't as windy in the trees, because of the blockage that they provided, but it held more of a lingering coldness. It was almost impossible to see in the pitch blackness that was the night – but I still had to try.

"ALLEN!"

I called out, cupping my hands around my lips, hoping that my voice might reach the boy –that is, if he were out here. The only reply I earned was the echoing of my voice off the walls of the mountainside town. I groaned, and pressed my hands in to a tree trunk, trying to calm myself and actually think. Allen wouldn't die that easily, I knew he couldn't possibly be dead, but he wouldn't abandon a mission either, so he had to be here somewhere. I willed my feet to continue their journey, but I hadn't come up with any new clues as to his whereabouts. Damn, this kid sure knew how to get lost. I cupped my hands around my lips once again, and was about ready to call out Allen's name again, but a slight ruffling in a nearby bush captured my attention in a second.

I sidestepped cautiously, with one hand gripping the handle of my hammer tightly, and the other outstretched trying to move the leaves aside. Perhaps sticking my hand deep in to the bush wasn't the wisest idea, but a man without a plan isn't always intelligent. My fingertips hit something solid, and I wretched my hand back with a yelp. Suddenly, a figure jumped from the bushes, and straight towards me. I hit the ground with a hard thud, only to find that I'd been pinned. My arms struggled in the tight grip, trying to get an advantage on my attacker.

"Lavi…?"

I blinked, trying to adjust my vision after the ambush. _White hair, grey eyes…_

"ALLEN!"

I shrieked, breaking free of his grasp and clutching at either side of his face with both of my hands. I could tell that his cheeks were pink, his teeth were chattering slightly. I quickly sat up, and pulled him tightly against me, rubbing my hands up and down his arms in hopes to warm him up. I felt his head slowly drop to my shoulder, and take in a deep breath. His lips slowly curled up in to a smile against my skin, and I shivered. It could have been from the cold weather, but it was more than likely from his lips pressed against me.

"Allen. You're not hurt are you?"

His head stuck back up, to look straight at me.

"Not at all, why would I be?"

He questioned innocently, tilting his head before it dawned on him. His mouth fell in to a small oh, and his cheeks flustered slightly in embarrassment.

"I suppose I should have kept in contact…but at least I got rid of all the akuma, eh?"

I shook my head, and pulled him in to a warm hug, pressing my face in to his chest.

"No, Allen. You're safety comes before anyone's. Don't ever do that again, okay? Or else I'll be forced to come after you again."

I let out a soft laugh, and it was accompanied by Allen's own giggle. I had to bite my lip to keep from latching on to his own lips. He was so close to me now – and wasn't acting stoic and heartless like before. What had caused him to act like he was before? I wanted to know more than anything, but asking now almost felt like a risk. So, I held back.

"Lavi, what are you doing here?"

He asked quietly, poking my cheek. I clasped his assaulting hand in both of mine, and leaned in, planting a soft kiss on the tip of his finger. Allen's cheeks flushed scarlet, and he yanked his hand back so roughly that he fell off of my lap, and hit the ground hard. I winced in his place, and hopped up, before offering him a hand – which he took.

"I told you, I had to come after you. I was worried."

I chuckled, and stuck my hand in to his hair, messing it all around. He shoved me slightly, before sticking back to my side as we carried on with our descent back to the town. I knew that hours had passed and that my finder would be asleep by now – but what I didn't know was where Allen's finder was.

"Hey Allen, what happened to your finder?"

Allen looked up at me, and nodded his head forward.

"Oh…finders, right. I wasn't sent with one…"

"Nice job – like it's safe for you to stay out alone when there's the chance of an attack…"

I murmured jabbing Allen in the ribs evilly before holding the door open for him. He followed me in, but didn't bother to stop at the desk. Obviously he already had a room. I hopped up the stairs, trying to keep up with his pace and nearly rammed myself in to the back of him once he stopped at the second floor. I followed behind him quietly, and I sort of felt awkward. Finally, he stopped in the front of a door, and turned around with his hands pressed on the door behind himself.

What was he doing? I couldn't help but gulp nervously. Was he going to make me find my own room, or was Allen going to invite me in? I shifted my feet uncomfortably, before turning towards the staircase.

"Well Allen, um…I guess I'll see you to-""Wait! Don't you want to…come in?"

Did I want to come in? I doubted that it was even a question.

**Ahaha~**

**Clif. Hanger. Again . ;D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you to everyone that has been keeping up with my story and reviewing. **

**I can't thank you all enough! You really are so amazing! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**But beware, another short one I'm afraid~ **

**-TT**

**15.**

Allen switched a small bedside lamp on, and slowly, the room started to illuminate. I was shocked that such a small light could have such a powerful affect. He abandoned the bed, and pulled the two chairs from the corner of the room over to where I stood. I took the offered seat, and Allen took the other, and sent a weak smile my way. I slowly reached up to untie my bandanna from my head, and let it fall to my lap before shaking out my locks.

There was something telling me that this conversation wasn't going to be a very happy one – but there wasn't much I could do about that other than try to control my emotions and possibly earn a more favorable outcome. I took a single deep breath and pressed my palms tightly in to my knees.

"Lavi, I should really apologize."

"Apologize for what?"

I quickly countered back to his weak voice. He seemed startled, because his shoulders stiffened and grey eyes seemed to lose focus of me. I wanted to reach out and take his hand with mine to reassure him – or just touch him to let him know that it was okay to continue, to not be afraid… but I silently retrained myself, knowing that babying Allen wouldn't do any good.

"I just…"

I was on the edge of my seat, ready for his response, but he didn't continue. Instead, he stood and headed over to the window. I chose not to follow, but rather dug my nails deeply in to my pant legs. What was so difficult to say? That he hurt me, and didn't have a real reason for it?

"I'm sorry."

It was quiet, and really very redundant. Was that all that Allen had to say? That he was sorry. I wasn't sure if I could forgive him, if he didn't even know what he had done; or rather that he didn't have a reason for his actions.

"Cut your crap Allen!"

I hadn't realized that I had shouted at first, and I hadn't noticed that I was standing at the door either until I felt my hand grip tightly to the door knob. There was always going to be fights, and unattended ends of our 'friendship,' if that was what we would still call it. Thinking back, I never actually gave in to anything, and always held out for myself and the better of others – but in a case like this, perhaps it would be better to just give in and abandon all wishes of being with Allen.

"Look, Allen. If you don't have anything else to say, I'm just going to go."

Allen's smaller arms wrapped tightly around my upper chest from behind, and I felt his head press in to my back. I stayed still, almost afraid to move. It was almost like a dream, having him pressed so close to me, and holding me like I actually meant something to him.

"I was scared. I was so terrified of what I was feeling Lavi. I didn't want you, or anyone else to know…I didn't want myself to know. I'm crazy for you, and I can't help it. You're always on my mind, and even if I try my best to avoid you, or block you out, I always fail. Lavi, I won't let you go."

I felt my lips begin to tremble, so I quickly bit down on my lower one, trying to stop the tremor. It was embarrassing, but had Allen just confessed to me? I wanted to beat at my own head, and try to distinguish if this was reality or just a dream, but the fear of losing the grip of the possible falseness frightened me.

"Allen…" My voice was quiet, but he heard it. "You're not joking…?"

I felt him shake his head, and then tug at me, trying to signal that he wanted me to turn around and face him. With shaking limbs, I managed to do so. I felt like I was falling, because I was numb, and my hope was far too high for any sort of a letdown. It was a lot like the feeling you get when you're stomach drops awkwardly, except mine was doing this with no real reason. I raised my hand, and let my fingertips ghost across the pale flesh of his face. His lips moved under my fingers, to bring out a smile. It wasn't a fake one and he wasn't smiling for anyone other than me.

My other hand drew him closer, by encircling his waist, and tightly pressing him against me so that I could nearly reach him. I felt his body begin to tremble under my touch, and his cheeks were desperately pink, a lot like his lips. Allen was pushing himself up on to the tips of his toes, trying to reach my lips. My eyes softened, and a smile spread across my cheeks.

"So short~"

I leaned down and nuzzled his cheeks gently with my nose, as he moved his hands from my chest to clasp around my neck. My eyes travelled along the perfect skin to meet his own gaze, which was a timid one – but he refused to look away.

"Allen, I won't let you go either."

Whenever I was with Allen, no matter how bad the time we spent together was – I was happy, deep down, I was just glad that I had seen him; that I was able to interact with him. My heart was on fire, and I was elated. Allen was close enough to kiss by now, and I wasn't going to pass the chance up.

I kept my eyes on Allen's, and tilted my head slightly so that I could lean down an inch or so more and softly lay lips upon his. It was one of those perfect feelings – having Allen's lips against mine. Just a simple kiss had my heart racing, and pounding against my chest. He'd always done wonders to my body, keeping me up at night, leaving me craving more, and having my heart race at simple things…I loved him for it. My fingers traced their way down his cheek, and under his jaw line, only to tilt his head upwards more, in hopes to deepen the kiss. It worked of course, and I didn't have to ask permission, Allen was already waiting for me to take dominance over his own mouth. I moved slickly against his own tongue, pressing my mouth tightly against his, before slightly pulling back only to go back in again.

I pulled away completely chuckling to myself amidst the small pants of air that jetted past my lips. Allen was panting too, but wasn't laughing – he was embarrassed. Obviously, he thought I was laughing because of something he had done. I cupped his cheeks with both of my hands, and nuzzled his nose before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Allen I love you."


End file.
